Thursday, March 23, 2006

The Kids in the Hall

First off, I would just like to take a moment to welcome you to my new blog. Even though you may find my posts graphic and offensive, I am sure to touch on a subject that everyone can relate to. So, be objective and enjoy reading.

Now, for my first post, "The Kids in the Hall".

While I was out Tuesday night, I was doing some window shopping at our local mall. Well, as I am walking I hear a kid screaming. It catches my attention, I glance over and see what I perceive to be a 6 or 7 year old berating his mother. I mean, this kid was using more obscenities than a gathering of truckers (no offense to truckers). At the top of his lungs, in front of everyone, he's screaming such phrases as...

"Buy it for me you bitch."
"Fuck you."
"Daddy's right, you are a whore."
"I want that fucking game."
"I hope you die."

And then the big bomb dropped...

"Fuck you cunt!"

Now, as if this wasn't all bad enough, the boy's father was standing there laughing and literally cheering his son on. My blood went way past boiling and the pressure cooker in my head burst. That very moment, I had visions of grabbing that little fucker by his feet and beating his white trash father into an indistinguishable pile of human remains. I wanted to decorate the the mall corridor with their entrails. I waned to grab the father by his mullet and throw him off the balcony, just so I would watch his body burst like a water balloon. I wanted to put plastic bags over their heads and watch them gasp for air until they faded away.

My violent dream quickly faded to a calm, controlled anger. I got my composure, took note of where I was and gathered my wits. I then calmly approached the disturbed family from hell, looked to the father and said, "I find it utterly despicable that you would let your son talk to his own mother that way." He appeared dumbfounded that someone would have the balls to say anything to him. I then looking to the mother, I added "...and Mrs.? If I were you, I'd seek divorce ... fast!" Before he could say a word, I looked at the father and said, "If you say one fucking word, I swear I will crack your skull with my bare hands."

I walked away, leaving them all in shock.

Now, some of you may not believe this to be true, but if you ask anyone that knows me, they will surely back up everything I have said. No, they weren't there but they know me, and that is exactly who I can be.


Blogger LL said...

Woo-Hoo!!! Way to go, babe!!

4:39 AM  
Anonymous SK said...

God you have style! Good job. :)

4:44 AM  
Blogger HateTaxes said...

Thank goodness that people like you exist. I feel the same way.
When we go out to the movies and kids are talking with the parent right there. I am the one that says, hey be quiet.
What is with all this rude behavior.

Thanks Diablo

5:45 AM  
Anonymous imp said...

BRAVO!! BRAVO!! *applause,applause, applause*

7:28 AM  
Blogger Evilicious Blonde said...

Ohhhh to have been a fly on the wall.


I.D., you rule.

9:07 AM  
Blogger LD said...

violent dreams can be fun..;)

9:31 AM  
Blogger Big Daddy 2x4 said...

And here I thought this would be some story about Cabbage Head...

12:09 PM  
Blogger Irishdiablo said...

Thank you all for your responses. I finally found my blog-niche and will continue to post at least one article every day. (Trust me, people piss me off the often. LOL)

3:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ID, watch your blood pressure, hon. :o)
ghostie alix

6:31 AM  

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