Sunday, March 26, 2006

Cereal Killer

I decided to brave the supermarket again today. I only had a few things to get so it shouldn't be that bad. Sunday is the busiest day at our Shoprite, but with what little I needed, I could stand in the 10 or 12 items-or-less isle. Well, I went and got my milk, eggs, bread and english muffins, and now it is off to get some cereal. No big deal, right?

Well, I turn the corner to the cereal isle and there is a little kid screaming, "I want Captain Crunch! I want Captain Crunch!..." While he is berating whom I assume is his mother (he later did refer to her as Mommy), she is just standing there and taking it. What the fuck is that? I understand that all kids have fits at times, but the good threat of an ass whooping is usually the cure. Only this lady didn't threaten her child, didn't raise her hand to him and she didn't even use the now-popular "time out" theory. She just stood there, putting the boxes back that he was throwing in the kart. The fucked up part about the whole thing is she didn't even look embarrassed.

Why the fuck do these new-age, nuveau parents let their kids walk all over them? Are they afraid they are going to psychologically destroy their child by applying firm discipline? Are they afraid to make their loving, caring child turn into an axe murderer? Hell, my father used to kick the shit out of us for doing "dumb shit" and you know what? It deterred from continuing to do DUMB SHIT! My mother was a pushover, but even then my brother and I constantly made her throw a shoe at us. LOL

This kid just screamed and screamed and wouldn't let up. Now my blood is boiling and I am torn between smacking the kid around and beating the fuck out of his stupid mother. I smiled as I imagined holding the kid down and beating him with a box of Captain Crunch until the toy went flying across the isle floor. Then I looked at the dumb bitch and took pride in the idea of throwing her in the kart and pushing it into a brick wall. Hmmm, maybe I could line them up and kill two birds with one stone, smacking them both in one swipe like in "The Three Stooges."

I calmed myself down, remembered where I was and went about my business. Though, when I walked by them, I just shook my head in disgust. That alone was enough to watch her go flush with embarrassment. Mission accomplished. Sorry folks, no vigilante antics this time. Just a good old fashioned look did the trick.
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2 Comments:

Blogger Big Daddy 2x4 said...

Just imagine what kinda damage you coulda done beating that kid with a Captain Crunch box... the way that stuff cuts the hell out of the roof of your mouth, I can't imagine what it would do to a kids corneas.

Not that I advocate child beating, I'm just sayin'...

10:37 AM  
Blogger Irishdiablo said...

LOL, BD2x4! That cereal is rather dangerous, isn't it? Maybe that's why it came to mind first. LOL

11:28 AM  

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