Die Hard

Erectile Dysfunction - The inability to achieve penile erection or to maintain an erection until ejaculation. - dictionary.com

Approximately 30 million men suffer from (ED) Erectile Dysfunction. Before the inception of such wonder-drugs as Viagra and Levitra, there was little that could be done to combat ED. Those who could afford it would have surgically implanted devices that when activated or applied, would produce an artificial erection. Charles "Chick" Lennon, 68, had such a device installed in 1996. The Dura-II Impant, made of steel and plastic, is a non-inflatable, concealable device which always remains rigid and is designed to be "poseable". The implant consists of a series of plastic plates strung together with steel surgical wire, almost like a roll of wrapped coins. Springs press against the plates, creating enough surface tension to simulate an erection.

Well, the problem with Chick Lennon's implant was that it malfunctioned and remained stuck in the "up" position. In other words, he had a 24/7 hard-on that was beyond his control.

Lennon told reporters that he became extremely self-conscious, a recluse. He could no longer hug people, ride a bike, swim or wear a bathing suit because of the pain and embarrassment. He also stated that he was extremely uncomfortable around his grandchildren. "I don't know any man who for any amount of money would want to trade and take my client's life," said Jules D'Alessandro, Lennon's attorney. "He's not a whole person.

In 2004, a Jury awarded Mr. Lennon a judgment of $750,000 dollars in a lawsuit against the manufacturer of the Dura-II implant device, Dacomed Corp. A judge later determined that the amount awarded was "excessive" and lowered the judgment to $400,000 dollars. On Friday, June 23rd 2006 the Supreme Court affirmed the ruling. Even after the courts ruling, Dacomed still maintains that there is nothing wrong with the implant.

First off, I can't even imagine how frustrating it must be to have erectile dysfunction. Even more so, I can't fathom the amount of embarrassment that would come from having a constant erection. I'm the type of person who doesn't give two shits what people think, but in that situation? I think that even I would become self-conscious. This poor guy had to live with it for 10 years. Ten fucking years of embarrassment and mental anguish? Who the fuck was the asshole judge who decided that $750,000 dollars was too much? I mean, some dumb whore spills coffee on herself and sues McDonald's for millions because it was "hot". Yeah, no fucking shit you dumb cunt! Coffee is supposed to be hot Einstein! Meanwhile, this poor guy had to live 10 years of his life with a "forced" hard-on from an implant device malfunction. Women who suffered breast implant failures on average, have been awarded in excess of "1 million dollars" (in my best Dr. Evil voice - LOL).

I agree with the fact that we have become lawsuit-happy and that it has gotten totally out of hand, but this is one case where the original ruling was just. I mean, think about it. What would be your first reaction if you saw a grandfather sitting on a park bench, holding his grandson/daughter and he has a full erection? I'd certainly be torn between kicking the living shit out of him and calling the cops. Now imagine you are that grandfather and it is beyond your control because of a device malfunction. I'm sorry, but this guy deserved more than a measly $400,000 dollars. After all, they sold him a defective cock for his already defective cock. LOL