Monday, June 19, 2006

Prancing in the Park

Saturday morning I got all geared up and went for a bike ride. I went to the local park, which I have been addicted to since it was first opened. They have a huge lake for fishing, baketball courts, multiple soccer fields, several large pavillions and two 2-mile tracks for walking/running/biking. They even have a roller-blade hockey rink. It really is a great place to spend your free time.

Anyway, I had been there for a good hour or so, riding and enjoying the day when I heard the bark of what I call a yap-yap dog. Apparently, this little Shih-Tzu wanted to play by chasing me on my bike. Sadly, the poor dog was dressed in pink silk/satin with pink fringes and a sequent-studded, pink collar. So, I continued riding and the she was doing her best to keep pace. Lucky for her that I was going up hill.

Then, like a strange whisper on the winds, I heard a troubling word. Not that the word itself was bad. It was in how it was said. "Sthop!" It was one simple word, and yet when said with a lisp, has much more meaning behind it. Again, it called out, "Prethious, sthop!". Yep, now I am certain. It is the unmistakable call of the infamous pillow-biter. Laughing, I stopped pedaling so that the little dog would end its persuit. She then stood at my feet, yapping happily, wagging her tail and bouncing with joy. For an instance, I thought to myself, "the poor dog is probably saying please, save me from this homo"

The guy finally caught up to us and rather than simply come and get the dog, he stood about 30 feet away and said, "Prethious, I told you to sthop." Precious completely ignored him, still looking up at me, yapping. I got off of my bike and knelt down to pet her. He immediately blurted out "Pleathe, don't touch her." I replied with, "It's ok. Even if she bites, she can't possibly do any harm." Then he shocked me by saying, "Oh, no. I don't let her have human contact." Perplexed, I asked if he was a breeder and he replied with, "No. I don't let her have human contact because it will ruin her delicate psyche." ... "WHAT?!?!?"

"Prethious, come over here this insthance." Meanwhile, the obviously attention-starved dog continued to play at my feet. I love dogs and I hate fags, plus I love being a dick, so I looked him dead in his eyes and reached down and petted Precious. I believe I even had a devilish smirk plastered on my face. Well, the dog absolutely loved it. She was in doggie bliss when he demanded, "Presthious! PRESTHIOUS! COME HERE RIGHT NOW!!!" The dog didn't even look his way and it was pissing him off. This in turn, made me even more pleased to pet Precious til her little heart was content. **Am I evil? Yes, I am.**

The fag actually stomped his foot daintily (if that's possible) and again demanded that she return to him. I looked at her and said, "Ok puppy. Time to go." and after a final pet, she darted back over to her faggy owner. He then started scolding the poor thing by pointing at her and saying "bad girl, bad girl." Ok, now I'm getting pissed. I said to him, "It's in a dog's nature to want attention. You can't take that from them." He started to speak, but I cut him off. "Your poor dog is so starved for attention that she would come up to a complete stranger and totally ignore your calls." Again he opened his mouth to speak and again, I cut him off. "Dogs are pack animals, and though it may not be possible, if you want your dog's command and respect you have to show some masculinity."

Totally offended, he clipped a leash on the dog and started huffing away, just about dragging the poor thing. That really pissed me off.

"Hey, cocksucker? Stop pulling on the leash like that before I come over and rip your fucking heart out." Wow, he apparently had some balls because he continued doing what he was doing, which of course, pissed me off even more. I took a couple of excessively loud footsteps in his direction and said, "Pull it again and I'll fucking choke you to death with it." That got his attention because he stopped and turned in horror and said, "Okaaaaaay, I'm thorry!"

(To hear rant, insert coin. LOL)

"Yes, you are sorry. You're sorry because you suck cock. You're sorry because you are not a man. You're sorry because you deny your dog something as simple as being petted. Meanwhile, you indulge in having large cocks rammed in your ass like a powertool. You're sorry because a dog the size of my foot came right up to me and you didn't have the balls to get closer than 30 fucking feet. You're sorry because you can't muster up enough testosterone to let your dog know that you are a man. Yes, you ARE SORRY!"

I think I actually saw a tear or two welling up as he turned and walked away. Mission accomplished.

I then turned back to get my bike and there, in the shade was this asian lady with a look of fear on her face. I smiled and said, "I'm sorry you had to see that." She flashed a timid smile back and said, "Dat's ok. I am grad you stand up for dog." She then nodded and went about her walk. I got on my bike and went back to riding. I felt damn good about myself. Not only did I terrify someone, but I had a spectator. LOL


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