Safe house from Satan
With my computer crashing and Blogger being down for 3-4 days, this is the first opportunity I have had to repost this. It was meant for Wednesday, June 7th 2006.
Tuesday, June 6th 2006 marked the release of the remake of an all-time classic film, The Omen. Fitting considering that the date was 06/06/06, right? In honor of that date I blasted out some Slayer and was sure to include what very well could have been the anthem of the day, "Number of the Beast" by Iron Maiden. No, I am not celebrating the Devil, just things that are about the Devil. LOL
Now, my township is divided into sections and each section has a name. The subsequent streets in each section start with the same letter as the name of the section. Far from ingenious, but it does make giving directions a bit easier. Anyway, these sections are all pretty self-contained in the sense that they all have/had their own elementary schools, at one point they all had community pools and they all have at least one Church. So, now that you know that, I can continue.
I was driving into my section when I passed one of the two churches in my section. Well, I literally had to stop for a moment and laugh as I read the sign they have on their lawn. Now keep in mind, this was on Tuesday, 06/06/06. The sign read - "Satan is coming, his day is here - Our doors will be open at 8PM - Come stay in the house of Our Lord and be Saved" Are you fucking kidding me? Are there people with such an archaic thought process that they could actually believe Satan was coming? Would Satan be stupid enough to come on a day where everyone would expect him to? Give me a fucking break! I started driving again and went home.
At this point, the curiosity is killing me so I decided to take a stroll up there at 8:30 or so. Well, I was amazed at the amount of people who were cramming into this little church. They were like ants at a picnic. I even had one of them tell me I should "go and get my family and bring them to the safe house (church) where the Devil can't reach them." So I asked him, "How do you know the Devil is coming?" to which he replied, "It is the day of the devil, six, six, six. The number of Satan." I promptly responded with, "And...?"
...And, he is coming to destroy the world.
"So, when he destroys the world, the Earth and it's inhabitants will be vaporized and all that will be left are a few churches full of people floating in space? If that's the case, why would you want to survive? I mean, Churches don't have their own gravity and therefore would slam directly into the sun as the entire universe collapsed from instability, right?"
In an obvious, displeased grunt he replied with "Never mind!"
As he was headed back into the church I asked him, "If the evil of man is what fuels Satan's power, why would he destroy us?"
He turned for a second as if to rebut, but then turned back and walked into the "Safe house from Satan".