Wednesday, May 24, 2006

The Perils of Parenting

I believe I have posted about my inconsiderate neighbors before, so if this seems repetitious, my apologies. For those of you who are not familiar with them, here is a quick description. In one of the neighboring houses there are a group of kids just out of High School who run rampant through the neighborhood. I can only guess that they either pooled their money together and the house belongs to them or it was a gift from their parents or possibly, the parents own the house and are simply non-existent. Either way, it is a house full of unscrupulous, inconsiderate, reckless adolescents. The sad part is they have little kids, usually snot-nosed and filthy clothed. Child care is obviously not a strong-point of their household.

Well, on the Saturday that just passed, a few of their little ones had been outside throwing rocks. Sure enough, as I had expected, I start to hear them bouncing off of the siding. Again as expected a few hit my windows, one of which chipped the glass. I walked outside and kindly asked the kids to find another spot to throw rocks, preferably away from my house. They began moving but didn't say a word. No "sorry", no "thank you", no nothing! No problem. As long as they are no longer damaging the house that's fine, right?

Well, one of their mothers grew a set and walked over to ask me, "Who do you think you are telling my kids what to do?" -- "Excuse me?" -- "You can't tell my kids what to do." At this point I can hear Scotty from Star Trek in my head saying I've givin'er all she's gawt Cap'n, but she's still gonna blow.

"I am the person whose house they hit with rocks. I am the person whose window they damaged with rocks. I am the person who was going to let it go until you opened your big, fucking mouth. I am the person who will be seeking payment for damages. I am the person who will be calling child welfare on your selfish, inconsiderate, no clue-having ASS!"

That last part struck a nerve because she insistently fired back with, "I watch my kids. I take care of my kids." Well, without hesitation I responded by asking, "So if you watch your kids, than you must approve of them throwing rocks at my house and windows, otherwise you would have stopped them, correct?" Well, she cocked her head in that Scooby Doo way and was at a loss for words. She is obviously dealing with a much more cunning intellect than she is used to.

I swear time had frozen at that very moment and I could see myself grabbing her by her hair and smashing her face into a tree. Just grinding her face-meat into the rough bark of an old oak. Tenderizing her patronizing look into a bloody mound of undistinguishable flesh. Then, just as my elation set in, the moment had ended and I was back to looking at the befuddlement of this snide little bitch.

"I'll send you a bill", I exclaimed.

Nothing else was said between us. We simply turned away from each other and went back to our houses. I swear if she had a tail it was snugly between her legs at that point. - The truth is, I have no intention of giving them a bill. Kids will always be kids. I just wanted to make a point that she needs to keep better watch on them before something bad happens. Either they break a window, a windshield or perhaps get hit by a car. And you know what? In any of those scenarios, she would be at just as much fault as the kids, if not more!


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