Religious Ruckus

I am currently reading The Da Vinci Code for the second time. I have been so engrossed in it that I have been carrying it around with me pretty much everywhere I may have an opportunity to read it. My comprehension is phenomenal but I am just a naturally slow reader. That's why paperbacks rule. I can carry them around and read them in spurts.

Well, I have had so many people ask me "how the book is" or "how hard it is too read." Obviously, the interest of the public is more peaked now because the Hollywood Blockbuster is near release. This as my friend declares, is because people are stupid and they don't read. Unfortunately, in most cases this is a fair assessment. Anyway, if you haven't read the book, there is a fair amount of French in the text and no key to decipher it. Thanks to this, the book has a reputation for being a hard read when in fact it is not at all. I will admit that the first few chapters had me going to BabelFish for a rough translation, but after that it was smooth sailing.

Well, last Tuesday I was at the gym, in the sauna and reading my book when a woman came in and immediately asked what I was reading. I kindly replied by showing her the cover of the book and saying "The DaVinci Code". I almost instinctively prepared myself to tell her if it was good or not, or that it was not that hard of a read. Instead, she spouts out with "Oh, you're reading that trash? A book filled with lies about the church and God? How can you bring yourself to read such crap?"

"It's fictional."

- "It's filled with lies and blasphemy."

"But ... it's fictional."

- "For someone to believe that garbage is ludicrous."

"I agree, because it is fick-shun-all."

(Can you tell from my sarcasm that I am getting pissed at this point?)

- "Fictional or not, I wouldn't put an ounce of faith in that crap."

"Oh, you mean like The Bible?"

- "Excuse me?"

"Yes, the Bible. Though masterfully written, it is still a book of fiction."

- "THE BIBLE IS NOT FICTIONAL"

"Yes, the Bible is fictional. It is a collection of inspirational tales melded together into a well-versed manual of morality."

- "HOW DARE YOU?"

"I dare because I am educated, intelligent and of my own free will. I dare because I am not brainwashed by self-righteous clergymen or a religion that preaches from a fictional manual such as Scientology, Christianity and Catholicism. I dare because I have the balls to live life without a false blanket of security."

- "You are horrible and evil!" (Now gathering up her towel and leaving in a huff.)

"Now, the Satanic Bible? ... Now THAT'S REAL!"

(She slightly turned around with narrowed-eyes and then continued to storm out.)

The only other person in the room, who remained silent until now laughed and said "Dude, that was funny as fuck!"

I laughed, thanked him and went back to reading.