Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Desperate Housewives

Upon coming home from work yesterday, in the section that I live, I was stopped by a woman falling into the street. Wait, she didn't fall, she was pushed. It appears that she and her loving husband were having a spat. Since he had followed her into the street, they were now fighting in front of my car, blocking my path. Did she cheat on him? Did she spend money they couldn't afford? Did she beat their kids? No! It was nothing like that at all. He got pissed off to the point of violence simply because the landscapers did a bad job of mowing their lawn and she was at work and not at home to supervise them. Keep in mind that I heard all of this while they are standing in front of me, arguing at the top of their lungs.

From the moment it all started, I could see that she was timid and obviously in fear of him. She had been backed up, step by step to the curb until she was shoved into the path of my truck. Imagine if I was one of those drivers who didn't pay attention to EVERYTHING on the road. She would have been killed or seriously injured, and of course I would have been guilty, right? Isn't that some shit?

Well, I waited patiently for them to get out of the road. Well, in the midst of their arguing, He grabbed her by the hair and pulled her out of the street. Ok, at this point my blood is boiling, but I'm not supposed to interfere in marital affairs, right? So, I managed to keep my anger in check. That's when it happened! He hauled off and punched her in the jaw, dropping her like a sack of potatoes. Now she is on the ground, groggy and screaming in pain and he is standing over her with a clenched fist and an attitude drunken by anger.

Okay, THAT'S IT!

I pulled off to the side, parked my truck and got out with a quickness I thought I had lost to old age. I walked up to him, grabbed him by his throat and threw him down to the ground. "You want to fight someone, fight me you piece of shit!" I growled at him. Now, before I continue, you have to know that this is one of the things I hate most. In fact, it enrages me more than anything else, with the exception of anything that would harm my daughter.

My buddy CavalierX of Guardian Watchblog knows! He has seen me act on this sort of thing in the past and I don't take it lightly, not one bit. Ok, back to the story. As he proceeds to stand, I can see the anger flush from his eyes and fear moving in. He then says what every man in the same position says, "this has nothing to do with you." Oh boy, now I'm pissed. You know? I wish I had those big word-FX balloons that Batman and Robin had on the show. BAM! BOOM! CRACK! And my personal favorite ... THWAP!

So ... I cocked my arm back and crashed him in the jaw, dropping him again. I then stood over him, pummeling him at will. I think he hit me a few times in retaliation, but I didn't feel it. I was drunk from the pleasure of acting on my aggression. "You piece of shit! You like hitting women because you know a man will kick your ass? How the fuck does it feel? How do you like getting your ass kicked? How does it make you feel to be embarrassed in front of your wife and neighbors? Huh? Do you like it you fucking piece of shit?" I stopped when I saw that the majority of his face had been soaked with crimson. Then I had realized that his wife was whimpering the words, "no .... don't ... stop." Why is it that every time a woman is getting her ass kicked by her man and someone steps in, they defend the same guy who was kicking their ass? If I may quote R. Lee Ermy, "What the fuck is their major malfunction?"

So, I came back to my senses looked down at him and said, "if you're even thinking about calling the cops, forget it. I'll tell them how you were beating your wife, how you threw her out in front of my truck and that I was just doing the duty of a good citizen. Your wife knows, your neighbors know and you know deep inside it doesn't have to end here. If I ever see you in any shape or form, hitting your wife, I WILL FUCKING BURY YOU! CAPICE?"

I got in my truck, went home and washed and iced my knuckles. About 20 minutes later, an officer showed up at my door. He said that he had a report that I had made terroristic threats. I explained the who scenario from start to finish. I told him the honest truth. I told him how much I hate the idea of a man beating on a woman and at the moment I saw it, I had a bout of "temporary insanity." The officer replied, saying "it's not insanity to want to protect a woman, it's human nature. Next time, just call 911 when you see something like that and report it. As much as I can appreciate what you had done, it is our job and not yours. You could have been facing serious charges, but they apparently chose not to report anything other than you making threatening remarks to them. I have to go back to them and If they choose to press charges, you will be contacted by our office."

I got the officer's badge number and we left to go talk to my "accusers." I called a friend of mine on the phone, who happens to be a cop. He laughed when I had told him what I did and he said "don't worry about it. I'll vouch for you in every way I can. Well, I hadn't heard anything so I called and asked for the officer that was at my house. He wasn't available so they said he would call me back. Sure enough, not even 15 minutes later he called. He said, "As I suspected, they chose not to press charges. I then confirmed, "So, it's over?" ... The officer ended with, "Yes. Like I said, next time call the police instead of taking matters into your own hands."

I'll end this post with what I ended my to with the officer with. "What if I had seen someone about to be murdered and I was in a position to do something? Should I call 911 and hope that they get there in time, or should I do my duty as a citizen and as a human being?" He didn't have an answer for me ... do you?


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