Tuesday, September 26, 2006

What good is a busted Willie?

September 18th, 2006 - Country singer/song-writer Willie Nelson was cited for possession of marijuana and (magic) mushrooms. The 73 year old Country Music legend had his tour bus pulled over on a routine traffic stop by a Louisiana State Police officer. "When the door was opened and the trooper began to speak to the driver, he smelled the strong odor of marijuana." A search of the bus produced 1 1/2 pounds of marijuana and .2 pounds of narcotic (magic) mushrooms. Nelson and 4 others were released after being given citations.

Ok, so let me get this straight. Willie Nelson (and friends) get busted with 1 1/2 pounds of marijuana and a good amount of magic mushrooms and they get cited and released, and Tommy Chong is arrested and is made to serve 9 months in jail for selling drug paraphernalia on the internet? Where is the fucking justice in that? Please tell me that these guys are facing at least 2 years for their crime? Please tell me that Tommy Chong simply wasn't made an example of when he was thrown in jail for selling water pipes (bongs) on the internet when you can go into any local cigar/smoke shop and buy them legally? Please tell me that our justice system is not that fucked up?

As much as I am an advocate for legalizing marijuana, it is still against the law and he broke it. Period, end of story. One and a half pounds of marijuana is not "possession", that amount could even be billed as "with intent to distribute." Is this simply because a country singer got busted in a "country" state by what I can only assume was a country, redneck cop? Hot dang, yer Willie Nelson. I can't wait to tell Betty Mae I pulled over Willie `fuckin Nelson. Yeeeehaaaaaw! Is that weed I smell? I'm smelling the same `fuckin weed that Willie `fuckin Nelson is smellin. Hot dang! - Yes, it could have sounded just like that and you know it's true.

Oh, and was it supposed to be a mystery that Willie Nelson was a pot-smoking flower child all these years? Well, mystery fucking solved! - HA HA HA HA HA.

Superstition strikes again

Those of you who watch football or play video games or both are well aware of the Madden Curse. Well, it struck again. It was announced that during the game on Sunday versus the New York Giants, Seattle Seahawks running back Shaun Alexander suffered a cracked bone in his left foot. Alexander is the 8th NFL player to have graced the cover of the seasonal (John) Madden Football game, created by Electronic Arts.

In 1989, Electronic Arts released "John Madden Football" for the Apple II series computer. In 1992, Madden made it's way to the booming home-console market appearing on the Sega Genesis. It wasn't until the year 2000 when Madden himself no longer appeared on the cover of his hit franchise series, and it was in 2000 where the Madden Curse all began. Year after year, the NFL player "lucky" enough to make the cover of "Madden Football" has been injured in the subsequent season. Here is the chronology of the "Madden Curse".

2000 - Running back Dorsey Levens (Green Bay Packers) was featured on some versions of Madden Football. That year, doctors had to remove a loose fragment and scar tissue from under his kneecap. He was side-lined for the season and (still starting) running back Ahman Green got his first start. Levens was cut by Green Bay in 2001.

2001 - Running back Eddie George (Tennessee Titans) escaped injury that season. However, having the best year of his career, George bobbled a pass in a playoff game that was intercepted by linebacker Ray Lewis (Baltimore Ravens) who returned it for a game winning touchdown. Coincidentally, George was injured the following year.

2002 - Quarterback Daunte Culpepper (Minnesota Vikings) suffered a horrible 4-7 season start only to be placed on IR with a season-ending knee injury.

2003 - Running back Marshall Faulk (St. Louis Rams) injured his ankle and missed 6 games, preventing him from possibly having his 8th 1,000+ yard season. From that point on, Faulk never reached 1,000 yards again.

2004 - Quarterback Michael Vick (Atlanta Falcons) missed the first 11 games of the season with a broken leg.

2005 - Linebacker Ray Lewis avoided injury until the last game of the regular season, but it was also the first year where Lewis did not record an interception. In addition, Lewis suffered a season-ending injury the following year.

2006 - Quarterback Donovan McNabb (Philadelphia Eagles) suffered a sports hernia, though valiantly managed to play through the pain for the entire season.

And now...

2007 - Running back Shaun Alexander (Seattle Seahawks) has been temporarily sidelined with a fractured bone in his foot.

I'm in no way a superstitious person, but there has to be something to the whole "Madden Curse" thing. It's too coincidental to be a coincidence.
Thursday, September 21, 2006

From fever to fervor

I apologize for not having been around for a short while. I wound up getting a sinus infection last week on top of a cold. Well, thanks to Clarithromycin the infection was gone in no time. Unfortunately, the cold began to morph into something else, including a 101 fever and my first ear infection ever. It was a real bitch to get rid of. Hell, I'm still in the recovery process and am taking Phenergan w/Codeine, Tessalon Perles, Mucinex and a Zithromax "Z-Pack".

Being that I am on several medications, you can guess that I went to the doctor. Well, I hadn't been to my family doctor in a while and I usually go at night. I come to find out that she retired and that there was an entirely new staff. I was devastated ... that is .... until I saw the new staff. YOWZA!

I was surrounded by hot nurses, hot assistants and a smoking-hot doctor. Had I died and gone to heaven? I didn't know whether to thank them or stick dollar bills between their plump, delicious breasts. I loved my old doctor because she was a damn good doctor, she knew me well and always took care of me. Now I am infatuated with the entire staff and I have deep, dark urges stored away for each and every one of them. To be honest, I can't wait until it's time to go back.

... I think ... I feel ... something coming on.
Monday, September 11, 2006

Gratuitous Muslim Booty

If all Muslim women looked like this, I'd be fighting in Iraq with a wrist rocket and a backpack full of condoms. ROFLMAO

Some parodies to laugh at on a somber day

Saturday, September 13th 2003 at 8:30 p.m. - The United States Military made a horrible mistake when they accidentally apprehended Adult Film Star Ron Jeremy whom they thought to be tyrannical dictator, Saddam Hussein. Ron (Jeremy) was quoted as saying, "I have been in a countless number of holes in my lifetime, but that was the biggest, dirtiest hole ever."

When President Bush's administration told Americans that Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden were in "bed together," it was believed to be figuratively until this rare photo was discovered in Hussein's personal scrap book. Bin Laden was not available for comment, but a messenger has stated that a tape will be sent to Al Jazeera in the near future.

Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa and Po are now among America's Most-Wanted after it was discovered that they are harboring known terrorist and Al-Qaeda leader Osama Bin-Laden in Teletubby Land. This explains why he has yet to be found by Coalition Troops.

CAUGHT ON TAPE: Cindy Sheehan (seen here) was asked to publicly apologize after a photographer filmed her doing an impression of herself prior to becoming a national celebrity. She later told Americans that she still missed her son, but doesn't have time to show it because of her busy schedule.
Friday, September 08, 2006

The Governator caught on tape

The L.A. Times reported that California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger told his advisors on tape that Cubans and Puerto Ricans are naturally temperamental because of their combination of "black blood" and "Latin blood."

"I mean Cuban, Puerto Rican, they are all very hot," Schwarzenegger said on the recording of a closed-door meeting obtained by the Los Angeles Times and made available on its website.

"They have the, you know, part of the black blood in them and part of the Latino blood in them that together makes it," Schwarzenegger said to Chief of Staff Susan Kennedy.

Republican Assemblywoman Bonnie Garcia told the L.A. Times that the Governor's remarks "did not bother her" and was also quoted saying "I love the Governor because he is a straight talker just like I am." - "Very often I tell him, 'Look, I am a hot-blooded Latina.' I label myself a hot-blooded Latina that is very passionate about the issues, and this is kind of an inside joke I have with the Governor."

Schwarzenegger later made a public apology after it was brought to his attention that many people were offended. - Source

Click Here to listen

Excuse me? Did this article not state that this was a recording from a closed-door meeting? Why does anyone have the right to be offended by what he says behind closed doors? I am willing to bet that every single American has said something in the privacy of their own homes that would have in some way offended someone and yet we are not required to issue public apologies. Is his being a public figure grounds for public outrage in this matter? Why?

Professional Baseball player John Rocker was cited for publicly calling an African-American teammate (Randall Simon) a "Fat Monkey." In the same interview, Rocker spat on a Georgia 400 toll machine and mocked Asian women. Rocker was suspended for the remainder of the spring season and 28 regular-season games (later reduced to 14.) The difference is, in this case he (Rocker) did and said these things in the midst of an interview. Schwarzenegger on the other hand, said what he said behind closed doors and the Latino he was referring to had no problem with his comments and told reporters that it is an inside joke between the two of them.

I am getting sick and fucking tired of the sea of sensitivity that is flooding our nation. Our country was built on freedom, including freedom of speech. The Governator did nothing wrong, he said nothing wrong and he should not have been "pressured" into an obviously-hollow apology. I say fuck`em, Arnie! They have a problem? Terminate their ass!

Hell, when I read that he said "I mean Cuban, Puerto Rican, they are all very hot" and "They have the, you know, part of the black blood in them and part of the Latino blood in them that together makes it," I thought he was saying that they are extremely attractive (hot) and the mix of Black and Latin blood is what formulates that hotness.
Thursday, September 07, 2006

I feel the need... the need for WEED!

In April of 2006, the United States Food & Drug Administration (FDA) released a report that no sound scientific studies supported the smoking of marijuana for medicinal purposes. This report is in complete contradiction of a study conducted in 1999 by a panel or highly regarded scientists from the Institute of Medicine. In their study, they found that marijuana showed numerous medicinal properties and could be used in a variety of such as an anti-nauseate, anti-spasmodic, appetite stimulator and pain reliever.

The medicinal use of Marijuana dates back as far as 15th century B.C., Chinese Pharmacopoeia, the Ry-Ya. Between 1840 and 1900, more than 100 articles were published in medical journals on the medicinal and therapeutic use of cannabis. In 1975, our own Federal Government stated that "cannabis is one of the most ancient healing drugs." In addition, they stated that "one should not, however, summarily dismiss the possibility of therapeutic usefulness simply because the plant is the subject of current sociopolitical controversy."

Historically documented medical uses of Marijuana include treatments for the following: Anorexia, Asthma, Nausea, Pain, Peptic Ulcer, Alcoholism, Glaucoma, Epilepsy, Depression, Anxiety, Inflammation, Hypertension, Insomnia, Turrets, and of course Cancer. Oh, and even more recently, it has been found to increase a person's sexual libido and can be considered a "performance enhancer".

Is it just me, or does it seem that the FDA is confusing the use of marijuana for medicinal purposes with the debate over legalization?

There is no way in hell that they can unequivocally state that marijuana has no medicinal value. I have known several people in my lifetime who have suffered and died from cancer and the only relief they got from the horror that is chemotherapy was from the use of marijuana. By smoking just enough to reduce the violent nausea caused by the radioactive chemicals pumping through their system, they were able to eat, drink and live a higher-quality life. That's what it is really about, quality of life. Hospitals pump massive amounts of pain killing drugs into comatose patients to ensure their families that they are not suffering. Where does the difference lie? The difference is that legalized medications applied by doctors and hospitals generate revenue for the economical monstrosities known as the Pharmaceutical companies. This in turn feeds the Governmental monetary hunger because they have to pay for patents, licensing, and of course the right to sell these legal substances. Marijuana on the other hand, as we all know, can be found (albeit, illegally) on a street corner in Anytown, USA.

I guess money talks, necessity walks.